


The Distance isn't Really That Far

by sarahjean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan Howell/Phil Lester - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15391317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahjean/pseuds/sarahjean
Summary: Things are a little different this time in the US. Instead of sharing a bed every night even on the bus we have to sleep in bunks that admittedly are comfortable but nothing like our bed back home. I’ve changed beds like three times because no matter where I am it’s not close enough to Dan or my travel sickness gets the best of me. It’s not ideal, I got so used to sleeping with or near Dan that the few feet of distance is too much. He doesn’t seem to be fazed by not being able to lie all over me at night. Though knowing him the way I do tells me he does hate it but would not say it out loud.





	The Distance isn't Really That Far

Things are a little different this time in the US. Instead of sharing a bed every night even on the bus we have to sleep in bunks that admittedly are comfortable but nothing like our bed back home. I’ve changed beds like three times because no matter where I am it’s not close enough to Dan or my travel sickness gets the best of me. It’s not ideal, I got so used to sleeping with or near Dan that the few feet of distance is too much. He doesn’t seem to be fazed by not being able to lie all over me at night. Though knowing him the way I do tells me he does hate it but would not say it out loud. 

We’re going to be in a hotel soon. Tomorrow night we’ll be in a room with something hopefully larger than a double bed so both of us can spread out across it. That would not happen though because after a few nights of not being held until he fell asleep Dan needs me to hold him tight. For tonight though we’re on the bus. Corralled on the moving death trap that doesn’t seem to stop. 

Everyone on the bus is spread out, as much as they possibly could be. Some are lying down in their bunks and others are sitting in the front lounge reminiscing about things that happened in college. Dan and I are alone in the back lounge. Marianne told everyone to leave us alone for a while because we looked like we needed “couple time”. Now I’m not sure what she implied by saying that but neither of us could complain when we were cuddled up on a couch watching some movie Dan said we had to watch. The title is probably something generic or cheesy but Dan likes stupid movies that are definitely not made with him in mind. He would never admit to anyone else that he likes romantic movies and tv, which is fine because I won’t tell anyone. 

I haven’t been paying attention for a majority of the time the movies been playing. Dan is far more interesting to watch. The way his face lights up when an actor or actress on screen does something scandalous. He just looks soft and happy to be laid between my legs with his back to my chest. It’s not really unnatural for us to be in this position but we’ve been busy and when we’re busy Dan gets irritated and I get defiant for no reason. That’s why we are glad Marianne shooed everyone. 

Once the movie finishes and the end credits are playing Dan turns over. He sits himself up so he’s straddling my legs. “I missed you. I don’t like being away from you.” He was tired. The closer to falling asleep he got clingier, not that I minded. 

“We are always together. I don’t believe I’ve been away from your side in a couple months for more than minutes.” He didn’t respond verbally but in perfect fluidity he pushed his head into the crook of my neck and rested it there. 

Minutes later he pressed his lips gently to my neck. “But we have been apart. Too many people around. You couldn’t even touch me.” He was right about the distance. It wasn’t was we noticed because we were still close. Still in the same room or building but not grasping at each other. We both felt the effects of distance. Dan being someone who relies on touch more than words, despite his outward adversity to touch. He just wants only people he knows to get close. I rely less on touch but after so many years of showing Dan affection through holding him and kissing him I have come to want him back in my space once he leaves it. 

“We’ll be fine. Tomorrow night we will be in a hotel room with no one knocking on the door because they left their phone charger in here. We can do whatever you want and I will do it without complaint.” His lips brushed against my neck again just as light as the first time. “It’s late now and we have and 8am wake up and you have to get up without complaining about it being too early.” We chuckled insync thinking about a morning a week or so ago when Dan was living up to his nickname by being an absolute bear. 

“I believe it is you who has the most trouble with mornings. My issues were on one morning after I couldn’t sleep because someone decided to give me coffee at 11pm.” He pushed back while scolding me for the coffee incident. There was no bite in his voice though. No real reason to get worried, he wasn’t mad. I leaned forward and kissed him gently. It wouldn’t go any further then a few kisses because as much as I love Dan I don’t want it to be awkward around any of the crew if they were to walk in. Mind you the American leg of ii was still happening and some of the crew would be with us till the bitter end. “Your right though. We should get to bed sooner than later.” With one last kiss he stood up and stretched so that his bones cracked making me wince. “Wow I’m getting old like you.” 

I glared at his stupid grinning face. To his credit I was older than him but 31 is still considered prime time for most. Playful jabs at my age something I’ve come to expect whenever I do something an “old man” would. 

With the grin spread across his face he put a hand out to help me off the couch, not that I needed it. Once standing we wrapped our arms around each other like we have every night since we got on the bus. It was one last gesture before we’d lay down barely within an arm's reach. “I love you.” Dan’s voice was just a tad above a whisper. He always felt he needed to say I love you because I like words. I have a degree in English language so it makes sense that I’ve always been attached to words. 

I kissed his cheek then pulled away to look him in the eyes. The darkness of the room did nothing to hinder the beauty encapsulated in Dan. Just his essence alone was enough to drown in. I know he’d say I was the prettier one but that’s how he’s always seen me from day one. Soon enough someone knocked on the door. A quiet knock that would have been ignored if we weren’t on high alert. 

“Hey guys it’s late. Now I know you haven’t had so much time together but a couple people out here need to grab things from in there before we all go to bed so please open up.” The always sweet voice of Marianne passed through the wall and door. 

“Alright we’ll come out.” Dan replied quickly. He soon replaced his words with a kiss to my lips. After pulling back and untangling our limbs I followed Dan to the door while he opened it. Marianne was smiling sweetly at us while also giving a nonverbal thank you. She pushed us out of the small doorway into the hall where all the bunks were. Being on a bus with other people meant that the way we slept at home didn’t work and probably would be frowned upon. So Dan and I took turns going into the tiny bus bathroom and getting ready for bed. 

After I was finished I stepped out into the hall. Dan was already lying down on his bunk with his phone out. “Night.” I said before getting into my bunk bellow him. His arm dropped down from over the side of his bunk. I reached up to grab it. Our fingers laced together for just a moment then I dropped mine to my side and Dan presumably brought his back to his phone. There was a flurry of activity but that’s how it always was these days. Someone is almost guaranteed to be awake either milling around or trying so hard to keep quiet. I fell asleep quickly due to the perpetual tiredness that rests on my bones. 

*

Sleep usually came easy for me. I rarely woke up during the night and if I did then I’d go back down rather quickly. Dan on the other hand was an incredibly light sleeper and could easily be roused by a simple shift in my sleeping movement. It could have been a natural response to his constant fear that somehow after all this time suddenly I’d disappear and he’d be left alone again. I usually wouldn’t notice it and he never would jump so much it would get me up so there was never anything to worry about. 

On the bus I could tell that it was difficult for Dan to sleep for many hours a night. With someone always doing something that they wouldn’t even realize was making enough noise to make Dan’s instincts wake him. That’s why it hadn’t surprised me yet when I’d be woken from a silly dream by a bleary eyed Dan asking if he could lie with me. His eyes were opened so wide like he was trying to fight off sleep. “Come on in.” I said in response. Immediately after finishing he was climbing into the bunk. He was too hasty though because he moved quickly and hit his head on the top of the bunk. A whimper left his mouth before he fell down on top of me. I reached up to where the bunk had made contact with his head hoping to find no bumps or blood rushing out of his head. After finding nothing I let out a sigh of relief. 

Dan wasn’t crying but he was put off by hitting his head. So he just laid on my chest with his head right above my heart. He’s slotted into the place he usually sleeps and I know it may seem rather uncomfortable to have a 6’4 man lying on top of you every night but to put it quite literally Dan is a koala when he sleeps. “You alright Dan?” I asked. 

“Yeah, it didn’t feel great though. I’ll live.” He picked his head up, carefully because he was obviously not trying to hit his head again, and looked at me with the softest eyes. I pulled my own head off my pillow and kissed him for truly the last time for that night. We both put our heads back down and closed our eyes and the outside world. 

When morning came Dan was still sprawled out over me with our fingers interlocked. Something he did when he was anxious about any given thing. His soft breathing lulled me back to just the edge of sleep. Then he jumped up, nearly hitting the top of the bunk again. “Careful Dan.”

“I’m good, wanna get up and eat something? You didn’t eat much during dinner so you must be hungry.” I nodded. Then he pulled himself up and carefully got out of the bunk with no incident this time. It was only a moment before I was stood next to him in the hallway. The lights were on and everyone else was up and eating breakfast at the tables and on the couch. 

“Morning boys. Sleep well?” Marianne cheerfully asked after noticing we were up. 

“Yeah, we did actually.” The rest of the morning went swimmingly. Everything went to plan and all the tension in the air was gone. The whole crew was walking more normally around us. Metaphorically the eggshells were cleaned up so no one would walk over them. It’s good to feel this way. Calm with no stress. Sure in a few days when we no longer have privacy the tension will return but the thing is it goes away after just a little while. All we need to relieve it is be totally alone in each other’s company. 

That night we were in a hotel. We laid around and watched another one of Dan’s movies. Took a shower together, to save water. Then climbed into the bed again and fell asleep with almost every part of our bodies touching.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!!


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